Carri 1 - Softener Salt 0

Someone asked me the other day what bothers me most about being 35 and single.  (thanks for pointing both of those things out by the way).  I really didn’t have an answer, but the question remained in my head.   I decided to sit down and really think about it.

Is it the loneliness?  Is it the financial stress?  Is it the fear of totally F’ing up my kids?  Is it the fear of dying alone?  Is it the fact that I am approaching cougar age with a ton of baggage and a damaged heart?

Those things do bother me, if I let them…what really scares me is the day to day stuff. 

Something as simple as softener salt…yes you read that correctly.  Having never actually purchased softener salt, I felt a little intimidated.  Suddenly I had a lot of questions and concerns.  Where do I go?  How much do I need?  What kind do I buy?  How do I get it from the trunk of my car into the basement?  Do I actually have to heave the bags into a cart and proceed to the checkout?  Pellets or rock crystals?  WTF…it’s not like I am out to score some crack cocaine.  My palms got sweaty thinking about it.

I realize how ridiculous this all sounds and after giving myself a stern talking to about how idiotic I was being, I donned my sturdiest pair of shoes and made the trek to the store.   

Upon arrival, I see skids of salt, varying in size, price and type.  Now, all I have to do is look like I know what the hell is going on.  I walk straight up to the skids like a gunslinger in an old western and stare them down.  Holy hell…they look heavy.  I debate hoisting the bags over my shoulder when I see the weight.  20KG each!!!  Some of the bags were 40KG.  I almost panicked.  Now what?  My inner voice reminded me of the compressed disk I have in my back (an injury I acquired while brushing my teeth, don’t ask) and I quickly decided to head inside to ask for help.

After the lovely 10 year old girl at the checkout took my money for the purchase, she called the 11 year old “carry out” boy to assist me.  It was starting to feel like a drug deal…I actually asked him “Should I pull my car up or will you carry it out to my trunk?”  Awkward silence…and then a smart ass comment…”I am a carry out boy ma’am….I almost bitch slapped him but I need that salt in my trunk.  So the strapping boy hauled those bags of salt and carried them across the parking lot to my car.  Because I am always joking in awkward situations, I asked him if he had a break coming up and would he consider coming home with me to bring the bags to my basement.  He stared at me with an expression on his face like I had just asked him to help me skin a small animal.

And because I am now feeling even more ridiculous for trying to communicate with this hormonal carry out boy, I actually came out with “I have Halloween candy.”  I know…too creepy right?  The kid took off running to the safety of the crowded store.

Feeling proud and excited at the thought of my first “home maintenance” task, my thoughts turned to how crazy it was to get so worked up over this.  Then my thoughts turned to whether or not I would be banned from that particular store for trying to lure their carry out boy to my basement with a mini kit kat.  Regardless…I felt great!

Since I have been told again and again to ask for help (something I am not very good at by the way) I did just that.  I am smart enough to know that I have some really amazing people in my life that would do anything to help me. 

You didn’t win this time water softener…now get to work and make my dishes shiny!