I am dedicating this post to all the single parents out there…this shit is hard.

Today was the day from hell…seriously.  Normally my blog posts are funny, upbeat, a little crazy but always honest.  Today is all about honesty.

Anything that could go wrong did…we slept in and barely made the school bus, the kids were at eachother’s throats, a winter coat zipper broke, a lunchbag came home with a half eaten applesauce covering everything, anything I touched turned into a shitstorm, work was crazy busy, I found a frozen mouse on the front walk that I had to scrape up and dispose of myself (stupid neighbour cat), the very tallest bulb at the top of the stairs blew, I learned very quickly how to fix a bathroom faucet and I developed a headache that felt like it would blow my head clear off my neck.

I am not perfect…and have never claimed to be, and yes, I have unfairly judged some people, so let me just say this… single parents deserve some credit.  Show them some love.  

As a single parent you do it all…manage money, pay the bills, attempt home maintenance, tucking in, chiseling dead frozen mice off the front walkway, reading stories, doing homework, after school activities, day to day chores, breakfast, lunches, dinners, keeping the positive in everything you do.  Finances overwhelm you.  You have to put a roof over your children's heads and food on the table. You must deal with the tears, the fights and the hard questions that come from the kids.  You are the one getting up in the night when your 7 yr old son wakes up from a nightmare that his family has been killed.  (I am not even going into the psychology of that one) You are the one trying to explain to your daughter that “no daddy isn’t a jerkface” when you firmly believe her statement is totally on the money.  You are the one constantly reminding the kids this isn’t their fault, and no they aren’t a burden.  Trying to balance “normal” life, discipline and understanding is a full time job in itself.  Don’t even get me started on how Christmas morning is going to feel. It’s emotionally draining because you face each crisis alone and you

know that you are the main person your children can depend on. I am damn tired. 

Generally, all the stresses that most families feel, you are just doing it on your own.  Let’s be honest…I did all these things before I was a single parent (most moms do), but at least when I had a partner, I had someone to talk to at the end of the day.  Someone to share my misery with and get some sympathy.  Someone to count on when the nightmares  keep us all cuddled in the same bed.  Someone to assure me that no, I wasn’t totally f’in the kids up.  Without a partner to share the load, parenting alone is scary. It can be overwhelming, lonely and damn hard. 

My whole attitude from the very beginning has been to take the high road, put out what I want to get back from the universe and keep my home a positive sanctuary for the kids.  

My outlook on life is to enjoy what I have today...be grateful for the things I have now. This is something that I am trying to teach my kids.  I think I have been doing a pretty good job.  Even though there are days like today…days when all I really want to do is cry, eat a bag of Oreos and wash them down with a bottle of wine, I force myself to look at the positive.  How do you cope in the chaos? 

First of all, I cope because my kids need me to.  I am the stability for them, I am the person they can look to for everything from scraped knees to wounded hearts.  They see me cry, I hold them while they cry, we share our feelings and then we look at all the amazing things we do have and we are grateful.  They keep me grounded and optimistic.  We have shown eachother what true love really is.  

I cope because I have the most glorious friends anyone could ever ask for.  They drop everything when I need them, they tell me what I need to hear (not what I want to hear), they pick me up when I feel like 

I might not ever get up again. They listen to me complain and share in my triumphs.  They make me dinner, listen to me when I need to vent and sit with me when I cry. They give me chocolate. They take my kids and I home after a day like today and make me crepes.

I also cope, because I refuse to wither away and let this chapter of my life destroy me. 

Wow…what a bummer of a post…sorry about that! 

Just had to get a few things off my chest and since this is my blog, I can do whatever I

want lol.  

Tomorrow is a new day.