Wow...what a weekend!
Well…I hope you are all very happy! You peer pressured me into an online dating profile. I had a crazy amount of messages asking me to "give it a try."
Now let’s just clear this up…I am not ready for or looking for a long term relationship. I am learning to enjoy life as I am with my kids. That being said, I wouldn’t mind a night out either.
So, I took this challenge not only for myself (to prove you are all crazy), but for all my married and attached friends who see internet dating as this mystical, magical, meat market and their need to know all of it’s dirty little secrets.
I am not naming names, but there are more than a couple of people “fishing” who I know have a partner. Yikes. (I also just gave you a clue as to where I posted my profile lol)
Think of this as an experiment in human nature…a sociology study if you will.
I completed an online profile (yes with my real picture) and information. No mom, I didn’t include my address or phone number.
The results are in (keep in mind, all this data is the result of the first 24 hours of being on the site)
Number of “views” (people viewing my profile in 24 hours): 106 Friday nights in singletown must be rockin’.
Number of direct messages sent to me: 82 Not all awesome by the way.
Number of requests for a “hook up” tonight: 6 ummm…no thanks.
Number of messages sent saying “Hey I haven’t seen (insert Claudius’ name here) since we played (insert any sport here) Say hi to him for me! “: 7 Seriously…WTF - 7 people out there want me to say hello for them??? (For those of you who are new to the blog...please read previous posts to find out who Claudius is)
Number of requests to see photos of me wearing nothing but a smile: 2 No comment necessary.
Number of guys who wanted to know if I liked hunting: 1 If by hunting you mean shoe shopping, then yes, I love it.
Number of guys, who, by using the word “your” instead of “you’re” that I deleted: 3 I am sorry, I just can’t take that kind of carelessness or stupidity.
Number of married men that messaged me that I actually knew: 2 Sad but true.
Number of men that told me they had a “surprise” for me: 2 Like, surprise, hold this replica of you that I made with human hair while I strangle you with my belt.
Number of “dads” that I know (who are my own father’s age) viewing my profile: 2 I threw up in my mouth a little.
Number of guys who asked if I like having my hair pulled or if I would consider pulling their hair: 1 I don’t even know what to say...I mean, I guess I could.
Number of guys whose profile pictures are of them holding, drinking, or spilling some kind of alcohol…too many.
Number of guys who used the line “I’m new in town, do you think you could give me directions to your place?” 1 Funny, but kind of depressing.
Number of guys who didn’t give me a creepy vibe: 10/82 Those are some frightening odds aren’t they?
Maybe I am on the wrong site, maybe I am naïve and really have no idea what the real world is like and maybe, just maybe, I have set myself up for disaster just to prove to my crazy friends that online dating is a nightmare and I am better off in my pajamas watching CSI marathons.
Will I keep the online dating profile? Will I take up any offers of coffee, drinks, hair pulling etc…I guess you have to keep following my blog to find out.
Ha ha!!! The profiles and messages are always poorly written, so I sort of expect that when some of my friends send me bits of the messages from the guys that are trying to get dates with them - but it's the photos that kill me. Sweaty guys on ATVs, guys with their ex's heads cut off, or blacked out with marker, the douchey 6-pack photo where they are trying to channel James Dean and Ron Jeremy simultaneously...and on and on...I hope you got a good giggle out of them. :D
ReplyDeleteI did have a good laugh, but more often just shook my head in shock and dismay. It was kind of like a train wreck...I knew I should have just walked away, but I couldn't look away lol
ReplyDeleteThose are bad stars Carri! Hang out at the library. Better odds there ;)
ReplyDeleteI should hang out in the library more lol...one of my list items is that he will have read at least 3 books since highschool, so what better place to find someone who likes to read?
ReplyDeleteThanks Krista :)