Listen Bitch...Don't rain on my parade.

The kids were with their dad for an impromptu dinner, which gave me two hours to myself.  Usually I would stay at home and creep people on Facebook, but not this time.  Tonight, I am going to do something FUN!

What to do on a Sunday night at 5pm…hmmmm.

Hold on to your hats people…this is exciting!  I wandered up and down the aisles at the grocery store.  I stared at the salad dressings, I meditated over marinades, I marveled at the mushrooms, I made eye contact and smiled at the cute man (without a wedding ring and who smiled back) in the tomato section…ahhhh…whoa..wait, where was I?

I even went as far as stopping at the ice cream freezers to see what was actually in there.  When the kids are with me, I yell at them to look away as we run by.  The evening was perfectly blissful, quiet, almost meditative. 

I didn’t really need anything at all, but managed to put a few things in my cart so I didn’t look like a sad, lonely woman with nothing better to do than browse the grocery store.

Now…those of you who have ever toted along children to the grocery store know the bliss of shopping alone.  It is a whole new world. 

For those of you without kids…you know how annoying it is when you hear/see other people’s kids screaming, crying, running, pushing, fighting…imagine they were yours…all the time! 

Anyway…back to the alone time.

Then, it hit me…well a lady letting her kid push her cart did, but after that…I was going to buy myself some flowers!  Why shouldn’t I?  I deserve them after the week I had last week.  I headed over to the floral section and right away came upon hundreds of pointsettas.  Not really what I had in mind when I thought about treating myself to flowers.  Determined not to come home with a pointsetta, I came across the market bunch displays.

Looking at the bunches, I picked out the best I could find…$5.99/bunch or 3 for $15.  What heck…I threw caution to the wind and bought myself 3 bunches! 

Laying them gently in the cart, I headed to the check out.  I almost pranced down the aisle.  Feeling pretty good about the evening and how I handled the disaster that was the entire last week, I felt great.  And what luck.  I found a checkout with no one in line! I put my few random items on the belt and displayed my beautiful flowers for all to see.

Then…my glorious evening of quiet and peacefulness was rudely interrupted.  The cashier asked me if I needed a floral bag for the flowers, to which I replied “no, they’re just for me.”

And then, get this, the bitch behind me in line pipes up and says to herself, but loud enough for me and the cashier to hear, in an almost pitying tone, “buying flowers for yourself…that’s so sad.” 

Well now, for those of you who know me well…

The new and improved Carri might have turned a blind eye, or ear, in this case.  Let the universe handle my problems, blah, blah, blah.  The old Carri probably would have knocked her out cold with the large can of vegetable soup I had just purchased and told her to mind her business.

Instead, I turned to her, looked her right in the eye (something I am not comfortable with) and said, “Pardon me, do you have something to say?”

She stammered and said she was just making an observation.

I proceeded to man handle her grocery items that were on the belt behind mine.  Announcing to whoever was listening, I rhymed off the items she was going to purchase:  6 frozen dinners, 2 apples, a small package of lunch meat, a small carton of milk and 3 bagels.

I proceeded to laugh, I mean really laugh.  I think it was a defence mechanism, because I what I really wanted to do was just punch her in the face and run out of the store. Tears rolling down my face, I said, “Being a resident of singletown made you a bit bitter has it?  Do yourself a favour and keep your opinions to yourself."

I turned on my heel, pointed my flowers at her and said, "You will not rain on my parade."    

You can find peace anywhere…even at the checkout.