Parking Lot Inspiration

As a writer, you require a little boost of inspiration from time to time.  This week was one of those times.  I had lots going on in my life and inside my head, none of which were blog worthy or appropriate. I typically draw on lots of areas in my life to inspire me…my children, my family and friends, significant people in my life, my work, nature, my journey in general.  However, I found myself with nothing to say.  Horrifying I know!

I did laundry, spent time with friends, cooked, cleaned, texted, emailed, reflected.  I had a few days of vacation time and embraced my kids.  All the normal things one would do during the week.  I also blew a gasket at one point, let the foul language and anger spew out, and then brought it all back into perspective.  I know a lot of you were hoping I would post about that, however, it doesn’t serve a positive purpose, so I am not going to. 

As I got a little more frustrated, because as most of you know, I am not usually at lacking in the word department, inspiration found me in the strangest place.

The parking lot at the grocery store.

Before I move forward and tell you how this parking lot inspired me, I am going to drift off into thought for a moment.

When you commit to spend forever with someone, your intention is not to get divorced down the road.  Unless you’re a Kardashian…then carry on.  You promise, you vow, to journey through this life together…good, bad, beautiful and scary.  As we all know, that sometimes just doesn’t work out.  And that’s ok.  But why not?  Why does it work for some and not for others?  This is a question that has plagued me since my marriage ended.

I believe I am on the path to answering that question. 

Back to the parking lot.

Feeling happy and comfortable in my own skin, confident in my life and my new direction, feeling supported, cared for and gasp…liked (a considerable amount) I was reminded of what really matters.  It's like the universe doesn't want me too comfortable or complacement and sneaks these moments in every now and again.

As I left the grocery store and was settling into my car, I saw an elderly couple shuffling along, side by side, both using the cart to steady their movement forward.  His tall, lanky frame, weathered with age, walked proudly beside her.  Her petite frame clothed in a blue pants suit and sensible shoes walked briskly, her little steps keeping up with his longer strides.  They made their way slowly across the parking lot, oblivious to the dirty looks of the impatient shoppers who obviously had things to do and no time to wait for this couple.

As they reached their car, which was parked right in front of mine, it became clear to me that the husband was much frailer than his wife.  He also had the look of slight confusion, which, due to the nature of my “real” job, I am quite familiar with recognizing.  He held on to the cart with a look in his eyes not unlike that of a small child.  Part trepidation, part wonder as he stood with the sun on his deeply wrinkled face, smiling.  She gently tucked his wayward shirt tail back into his pants, making sure that even though he was obviously confused, that he still had his dignity.  He watched his wife with intense interest as she loaded the small bags into the trunk of their car, with a look that can only be described as love…pure, simple, uncomplicated and very real.

I saw her glance at him, say a few words and watched his eyes light up as he laughed.  A loud, booming laugh I didn`t expect to hear.  I don`t know what was said, but whatever it was, it made his whole face smile. 

Groceries secure in the trunk, the wife came around to where her husband was still griping the grocery cart handle, to keep steady.  What I saw in the next moment brought me to tears…most things do, but this was a cry that came right from the very depth of my heart.  These tears did not gently slip down my cheeks like they do in the movies…these tears came with heaving sobs, a runny nose and quivering lip.  All the ladies know what I am talking about…this was the “ugly” cry.

Anway…

The wife stepped around the cart and stood beside her husband.  He placed his frail hands, one on each of her wrinkled cheeks, steadied himself, tipped her face to his and kissed her, right on the lips, with such tenderness, respect and gratitude that it took my breath away. 

He drew back and they stood for a few moments, still with his hands on her face, looking at each other with the wisdom only age can bring.  They know it’s these moments that matter most.  It’s not about “stuff”, it’s not about revenge or regret.  It’s not about whose kids got the best report cards or who just built a new house or a concrete driveway.  It’s about making a conscious decision to stop the world for a few breathtaking moments to be present and grateful.  It’s about recognizing that at the end of our journeys, regret and a landscaped flower bed isn’t going to tuck your shirt in for you. 

The wife took her husband by the hand and supported him as they rounded the car to the passenger side.  She opened the door for him and he slid gratefully into the seat, folding his long legs inside.  I watched as she leaned in the car, fastening his seatbelt for him and place a loving kiss on his forehead.  Knowing he was secure, she closed the car door gently, returned their cart, got into the driver’s seat and carefully drove away.  I could have missed this entire lesson, had I been impatient and ignored the people around me.  In less than 10 minutes, this couple clarified a great deal for me. 

I can only assume that a couple of their age (likely in their mid 80’s) have been through some hard times. I also can only assume that life may not have always gone the way they planned.  Yet, here they are enduring, maintaining, still nurturing each other.   I found myself wondering how they made it.  I am sure they had arguments, resentments, children, money issues during their journey together.  I suspect that she is his main caregiver at home, possibly cutting his food, washing his face, combing his hair, tying his shoes.  Obviously by the enormous laugh I heard come from the husband, even after old age crept in, they have humour in their lives.  That my dear readers are what our journeys should be about.  Commitment, trust, respect, laughter and unconditional love.  10 minutes in the parking lot of a grocery store reminded me that forever is possible. 

We get so wrapped up in our work, who is doing what with whom, money, having “more”, our kids….life.  We end up taking each other for granted.  The couple that inspired me today reminded me that I don’t want the disposable life that is all too common these days.  I want simple. I want the good, the bad, the scary and the beautiful.  And when the time is right, my second chance will matter.  It will be my chance to make my journey simply amazing. 

Today is the day that my life becomes less of reminding myself about what I didn’t have and more of making today matter.