I am restless.
Perhaps this is part of the process, part of the healing,
part of the moving forward.
I am restless to move ahead in my personal life, to stop
being in this middle place. What’s
stopping me?
I am restless in my job.
I want to do more. I want to make
a difference and be recognized for what I can contribute. Is it time for a change?
I am restless with my spiritual growth. I am free to be, to practice, to embrace the
spiritual side of myself that has been living quietly for many years. What’s holding me back?
I am restless to do more, to give more, to be more than I am
right now. How do I allow courage to win
over apprehension?
Typically I am fearless…jumping into everything I do with
enthusiasm, faith and a strong will. I
am still that person, but the events, the people in my life during the past
year have altered that somewhat. I still
give my whole heart and soul into everything I do and to everyone I meet. But, I have become more cautious. I am learning that I cannot plow forward
forcefully, no matter how much I desire to. I cannot “make” things happen just
because I want them to happen. I have learned that there are other forces at
work that align me into the right positions at the right times. The universe
always knows what I need and when I need it, regardless of how hard I try to
make my wishes come true. This is where
faith comes in. It was a lesson that I
had to learn…one that I fought at first.
Then, one day I woke up and realized; it’s ok to be lead gently. It’s ok to let the universe guide me. It’s ok to acknowledge the gentle nudges that
have brought me this far. It’s ok to
look for the subtle clues that will guide me to where I need to be.
Nevertheless, I am restless.
Impatient for the next phase.
I can feel the reset button close at hand, but it’s elusive
at this moment. Just out of reach. I can feel it, its close, but not close
enough to touch. I feel ready for the
next great chapter to begin, to push ahead.
Pushing, as I have learned, never works. Perhaps the universe is gently telling me it’s
not time, perhaps there are a few more things for me to learn before my new
chapters are to be written. These guide
posts will appear when they are meant to appear, lighting the way for me. Patience is required on my part. I know this.
I like my free spirit. I get excited about possibilities and
whole heartedly appreciate life. I absorb the small moments, letting the
moments be what they are. But some of
the time, I am in such a hurry to get to the “good stuff” that I miss the great
stuff along the way. I get wrapped up in
the big picture, because the world seems to hold so much for me that I often have
to tell myself, stop and just breathe.
I am romantic at heart and a star gazer to the very
core. That in combination with a
restless spirit makes for a difficult transition. I am content, I am restless. I live in the moment, I am a daydreamer. I am
practical and pensive, I use my heart as my guide. I am responsible and reliable, I long to be
free of restrictions. I am intelligent
and soulful, I am silly. I am strong,
but easily hurt. Finding the balance is
the key.
I often have to stop and give myself a reality check and
realize how far I have come and how much I have conquered. And I remind myself
of the necessity of this journey.
Nevertheless, I am restless.
Waiting for the alignment of stars.
Can a free spirit ready to burst forth and take on the world
also be patient, trusting that she is exactly where she needs to be? I think so.
My senses are wide open to the clues on how to get there.
Today is the day that I continue to move forward, small steps,
large steps, running fast and free if necessary, but always with a heart full
of gratitude and faith that this journey is leading me somewhere amazing.
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