Personality plus…

So, here I am dating, and sometimes it feels like a job interview…questions fired at you left and right.  I’ll admit, I ask a lot of questions too, but seriously…

How long do you put on the “first impression” front before revealing your true self or do you put on a front at all?  Isn’t it better to just be yourself?

You know what I mean.  Sure I am naturally funny (ok, I am hilarious) charming and intelligent.  BUT, I am also a lot of other things.

I am emotional, unpredictable, sarcastic, stubborn, passionate, inquisitive, upfront, slightly blunt, honest, confident, independent.

I think you should be honest right up front…no surprises.  If you like the person I was on our first date “interview” then we will get along fine.  I am who I am, take it or leave it.  I would expect the same from my date.  That sounds harsh, but I think at this stage of the game I can be selective.

I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be, so when the tears start flowing because of that stupid Canadian Tire commercial, then tough luck for you pal.

Here is a perfect example of whether to be yourself, or put on a show.

The doorbell rang the other night and Hannah, bless her heart, even though she isn’t supposed to answer the door, lets in a couple of Mormons. 

Shit, now what?  I could be polite and listen to their pitch, I could tell them to get the “f” off my porch.  Unfortunately, the smartass in me was in full force.  I stepped out onto the porch and listened to their pre-written, rehearsed introduction about why they were in the neighbourhood.

The very sweet, very innocent young men asked me if they could come in.  I said sure, let me just put away my tarot cards.  They looked at me funny and took a step closer to the threshold of the door.  So, not scared of tarot cards.  Interesting.

I told them I was in the middle of cooking dinner, which I was.  They asked if Wednesday evening would be a better time, to which I said, “Sure, come by Wednesday.”

The blonde one then asked if my husband would be home.  I said no he wouldn’t, why were they asking.  It seems these young mormon men can’t come into a woman’s home without a male “figure” in the house.  Again, interesting.

I kind of laughed, which in hind sight, perhaps was rude.  I mean, rules are rules.  But, me being who I am, came out with, “What, do you think I would chain you to the water heater in my basement and have my way with you?”  Too much, I know. 

They stood there bewildered and I really thought the blonde one was going to take me up on my offer.

I told them there wasn’t a man of the house.  Then “Daniel” (he had a name tag) apologized since they assumed there was a man in the house, with the children and all.  Still not sure why he would think that, but whatever.

I thought for a moment about how to handle this.

I proceeded to tell them that I had been artificially inseminated, my lesbian lover would be home any minute and we were hosting a swingers party that night if they were interested in hearing the lord’s name being shouted out in a totally different way.

Tripping over eachother, trying to get off my front steps, the two young mormons thanked me for my time and they took off down my driveway.

I wonder if I will see them Wednesday night?